Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, or Oops, I Did it Again

Look at this face, Dad...eager and well-contained for the train trip

And here is the Village Idiot, sitting up on the sofa as if she knew what she was doing.

I know, I know, dear reader, that my lament grows tedious but there seems to be no end to the indignities I both must suffer and inflict upon those I love. As I have mentioned over the past two years, growing old is neither for the faint of heart, nor for sissies, and yet it is something both humans and animals must face. In addition to my growing incontinence, I have apparently lost my hearing. How do I know this, you ask? By watching the frantic and exasperated expressions on my parents’ faces while their mouths move and hands gesture wildly, I am able to ascertain that whatever sound they are producing does not reach my ears.

I do try to control what happens in my hindquarters but am rarely successful any more and yesterday’s accident set off my dad in a particularly alarming way. Since Mom is out of town this week, it falls exclusively to Dad for our care giving, and he is both thorough and conscientious; however, yesterday he failed to take us out before feeding us dinner and I was unable to stem my flow after inhaling my meager but long awaited meal. Dad then stepped in it, reacted violently by taking his urine soaked shoe and throwing it into the wall, opening up a sizeable hole. Lizzie and I could only stare stupidly (Lizzie’s normal gaze) in amazement. Since I am no longer of the hearing world, I could not actually hear his imprecations but I am pretty sure they involved my name.

And there was the ill-fated morning that I unfortunately released several unsavory offerings in the elevator and poor Dad had no bag to contain them. He, being a considerate and civic-minded pet owner, had no choice but to scoop them, run to the apartment, and flush them away, all the while invoking my name in a very derisive manner.  After explaining his anger to Mom, she asked where Lizzie was and of course it was clear one pug had been left behind. That’s right, folks, Lizzie was once again riding mindlessly up and down our building’s elevator just waiting to be rescued.

I must dedicate this blog to my dad who gives us such loving and efficient care on a daily basis, but like Job, must suffer the many trials I inflict upon him unwittingly and unconsciously. I love you, Dad, and wish my final years were not so challenging, but I have so much enthusiasm, energy, and lust for life that I am not about to bow out at this time. Bear with me and I will try my best to be a pug of fewer accidents.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

23 Comments

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23 responses to “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, or Oops, I Did it Again

  1. Anita

    Oh Mason, tell your Dad that when I finally decided it was time for the man I have been dating to meet the dogs Pug took a lovely dump right in front of him in the living room which I then stepped in a tracked through out the house…it wasnt our finest moment. Alas, the young man still found us charming.

    • Anita,
      Pug sounds “spot on” and that you say “Alas, the young man still found us charming” sounds as if you are disappointed that he is still around? Hmmm, in any case humans must understand that we pugs have a limited arsenal of weapons and they are quite powerful.
      Best,
      Mason

  2. Pugsly

    Oh Mason daddie know you are doing your best and he will love you always. I’m sorry to hear about your hearing but maybe you can ask Lizziefor help. We feel your pain.

    • Thanks for writing, Pugsly…I appreciate yours sympathy but truly I do not seek it. I just hate when I disappoint or anger Dad but then I realize that neither of us is to blame.
      Best regards,
      Mason

  3. Richard Raines

    Mason: Hope you get your share of the feast. Happy thanksgiving to you ,Lizzie and your family. We love you . Micah John,Ezra George, Paris Marie and Tyrone Lee

    • Thanks, guys…Your good wishes are reciprocated. Of course the lion’s share should fall to yours truly but in reality it won’t. A crumb would be the world to me.
      Mason

  4. Clearly, Mason, you need a service dog. Apparently Lizzie is not up to the task…..
    I am certain that Dad, knowing the alternative, is happy you are still around. Unwanted poops or not.
    Much love,
    the crew @ utterlychaotic.blogspot.com

    • Dear Crew,
      Lizzie is clearly not up to ANY task, let alone the assistance of yours truly. And I have no plans for an imminent departure… poop, pee, and all.
      Mason

  5. Oh Mason, my Lexie can relate to your drama. She’s a bit wobbly now with advanced age and can’t hear anything anymore either! But she’s happy as can be and lounging by her sister by the fireplace as I type this. Older dogs have character, and you should be proud to be such a distinguished (and handsome!) gentleman!
    As for Lizzie, she looks about as comfortable as pug can be! LOL! Your parents should really think about getting her a little elevator operator’s uniform since she seems to be so good and riding them up and down!

    • Erin,
      My parents should think of getting Lizzie a home in an elevator…somewhere far from here! She is an idiot and always will be.
      I am quite comfortable with the pug that I am but only wish the infirmities of old age were so ever present.
      Thanks for writing,
      Mason

  6. Terri Baker

    Oh my dear Mason. It is probably just as well that you didn’t hear dad’s tirade. Bless your heart. Lizzie is becoming quite the elavator rider..lol Maybe dad should always carry poo bags incase of accidents before making it outside. Just a thought. Did I miss something? What is the deal with a train trip? Where did you go?

    • Terri,
      Dad is normally quite prepared but for some reason wasn’t that day. And that photo was taken earlier this fall on a trip to my CT grandparents…pretty alert, aren’t I?
      Best,
      Mason

  7. Oh, Mason .. we are so glad to hear from you again. Old age is certainly no easy task, not for humans or pugs. But we love your lust for life, stoicism and your optimism and know that loss of hearing is difficult. But you can count on the love of your familiy, even Lizzy if you let it happen.

    We wish you all the best – and hope to read from you soon again,

    Your young pug friend from Berlin
    Carlos Santana

  8. Wubby's Mama

    Mason,
    First, I must say how fetching you look in that bag. Your very distinguished looking and seem as if you are ready to go at a moments notice. I wish it were that easy to get my Wubby ready to go. At the mere mention of going anywhere he loses all common sense and acts like a demented lunatic, and then the barking starts, I won’t even go there! AS for your problems as of late, I want to commend you on you high spirits! You are still full of life and vitality. Never give up, when that happens the flame of life burns out. I, for one, am not ready to say good-bye to you. You feel like part of the extended family. I will beseech the patron saint of Pugs that you get to feast on Thanksgiving Dinner.
    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Stefanie
    (Wubby’s Mama)

    • Dear Stefanie,
      I would certainly appreciate your help in securing a few miserable crumbs from Thanksgiving this year. It is a very stressful time of year for this venerable old pug. One must be highly vigilant and uber alert in order to seize any morsel at all.
      Best regards,
      Mason

  9. Jill Shaw

    Like Mason said, we all have to age but it’s so sad to hear what Mason is going through. And I know it’s really tough for mom and dad. I get all teary eyed just thinking of my 3 pugs aging.

    • Buck up Jill…we are here, it is true, for but a brief moment (relatively speaking) but that moment is so rich and rewarding that we should never waste a second anticipating the pain to come…just my feeling.
      Hug your pugs,
      Mason

  10. sue

    First I must say Mason you look so cute in your travel bag I know it is not easy getting old even for humans I know your daddy loves you dearly no matter what I am sorry about your hearing loss I did have a good chuckle when I read about Lizzie being left in the elevator poor girl

    • Sue,
      Thanks for writing, and yes, I do know I am loved but I also believe that I test that love daily! As for Lizzie…well, she could ride that elevator for eternity if I had my say.
      Best,
      Mason

  11. Clarabelle & Wesley

    Dear Mason,
    We are new fans of your blog, and we enjoy it so much. (Mom reads it to us because she doesn’t let us use her laptop–just another example of pug discrimination.) We are five years old and one-and-a-half years old, respectively, and we want you to know that it’s not only older pugs that occasionally leave “little presents” around the house. Nobody’s perfect! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving–and share a little turkey with Lizzie.

  12. A must read for any pug/dog lover……….

  13. Adorable pictures. Pugs are just irrestable!

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