Food, Glorious Food

Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony,” but that directive seems a bit harsh to this venerable old pug. So the question in my mind is, “Is gluttony really a sin sin?”  I mean, if one reads the Old Testament closely, there are such heinous crimes being put forth as sins that gluttony seems small potatoes when compared to carving up babies, sleeping with or coveting your brother’s wife, or even murdering your brother.

All of which leads me to my most recent brush with the grim reaper. I find Monday mornings particularly rich in one regard…they tend to yield the mother lode of culinary street treats, leftovers, if you will, from the weekend’s bacchanalia. For a low rider, such as yours truly, these treats are easily obtained and always worth the small effort. On such a morning with Dad, Lizzie and I performed our ritual sniff, circle, and squat. Lizzie, of course, has no interest in the treasure trove the Lower East Side provides a true gourmand, such as I, but rather performs her tasks robotically with a mind always on the return to her bed. I, however, faced an unusually large, intact pizza crust in the middle of the sidewalk I was traversing. With no thought, acting only on pure instinct, I scooped it up and attempted to inhale it. Before I could even move this monster crust into my gullet, it lodged in my throat, blocking my air passage. I flopped onto the ground like a fish out of water, in full seizure mode. My eyes rolled back and my little legs stiffened and twitched madly. I remember hearing Dad say something about how he’d be damned if this was how I was going to exit this world, or maybe it was more like “not on my watch, mister!” In any case he reached into my gaping mouth, pulled out the offending crust, and threw it away. Recovering immediately, I hopped up and resumed trotting along, watchful for new orts.

My relating of this little tale brings us back to the question of gluttony and its sinful connotations. I realize gluttony is deemed a venial rather than mortal sin, but even that seems extreme. Was I, perhaps, lustful or greedy, rather than gluttonous? Or was my sin a combination of all three?  A pug is unique in this world in that once fed, he/she is ready to feed again immediately. It is in our DNA, our hardwiring if you will, but does that make us sinners? I don’t have biblical or even metaphysical answers to all of life’s imponderables, but I know I saw food, grabbed it, and Dad saved my life so that I could live to eat again.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Mom wresting my bone from me…

Doing what I love most…

14 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

14 responses to “Food, Glorious Food

  1. sue

    Mason I was so happy to see your post I have missed you my six puggys would eat non stop if allowed I am so glad your dad got the crust out

  2. Terri Baker

    Well dearest Mason if pug gluttony is a sin you are in good company. This is my answer to that question. Since God made pugs that way, the gluttonous creatures that they are then how can He consider it a sin? So there you have it. EAT ON my friend!

  3. Mason, my friend, you are far too dignified to go out on a lowly pizza crust! Even if it IS NY pizza. (kuddos to Dad for his quick thinking!) I don’t consider this incident gluttony, but more an episode of bad judgement. Please choose the size and quality of your culinary adventures with a bit more care. This faithful reader hopes for many more adventures through her long lost native home.

    • Agent99,
      Thanks for writing but here’s the thing…when I am on the run, I cannot take time to be discriminating. I must grab what is available and hope for the best. I am too old to change my food acquisition habits, but thanks for your care and concern…
      Mason

  4. Lauren Gaught

    It’s good to hear from you Mason!!.. I am so happy you are OK!!.. Your Daddy is such a hero!!

  5. Paisley Pug

    But Mason, why doesn’t Lizzie has these issues with food?

  6. Glad you weren’t taken out by that pizza crust, Mason! After giving the Heimlich maneuver to all of my pugs at some point, I’m convinced that wolfing down food is a pug thing!

    • Ah, Erin, you are so very wise. If one is truly a pug (not an ersatz pug like Lizzie) then wolfing down any morsel is our be-all and end-all.
      Mason

  7. i just love reading these little stories and i think your pug is a very special angel.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s