Mistakes Were Made, or I’ll Take A Pug Latte, Please

Alas and alack, I fear yesterday did not begin auspiciously for yours truly and his consort, Lightweight Lizzie. There was nothing unusual about the morning, except that Dad decided to chill the coffee after it brewed. As most of you probably know, a glass pitcher may not be the wisest choice of container for scalding hot coffee. To add to this unwise decision, he then placed it in the refrigerator. Now you must understand that mornings at our house are pretty hectic; what with walking Lizzard and me, then feeding and medicating us, showering, dressing, making coffee and lunch, and racing to the subway, it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that mistakes will be made.

 After the feeding, we like to hang about in the kitchen, waiting for the possible crumb, accident, or  treat. Lizzie was standing quite close to Dad’s leg when tragedy struck. I, however, in my infinite wisdom, had the good sense to stand back from the immediate scene, affording me a better vantage point for assessing everyone’s activity.  Knowing I have the reflexes of a wild cat and can move in swiftly when speed is necessary, allowed me a degree of comfort and confidence. You have to wonder about the random nature of the universe when something unexpected, like what happened next, occurs. Mom opened the refrigerator door, noticed coffee leaking, I observed that Lizzie had moved too close to Mom for my liking and I assumed she was being offered a treat. Mom picked up the pitcher, whose bottom immediately fell away onto the floor, spilling copious amounts of lukewarm coffee  all over Lizzie, as I lunged for her throat in an attempt to wrest from her the treat I imagined she had scored. Only Brueghel could have painted a more disturbing scene!

 It was late, my parents had to dash, and I saw poor miserable Lizzie receive a hasty toweling. I am afraid she was forced to spend the rest of the day drenched in caffeine. What a pity it hadn’t been hot fudge sauce, gravy, or raw eggs. I have no interest in coffee so I couldn’t even lick her. Oh, and there is also the piece about my going for her. No, there was no treat; she was just an unsuspecting victim of a morning disaster. I did feel sorry for her but truly she does go into this bizarre zone where she loses all sense of time or place.

 Well, dear reader, you can see the paucity of excitement in our pug lives since I must resort to reporting such a morning.

 Respectfully submitted,

 Mason

 

I had to show you this even though it has nothing to do with the incident. Lizzie sleeping on the Sunday New York Times...what an inspiring pug!

I had to show you this even though it has nothing to do with the incident. Lizzie sleeping on the Sunday New York Times...what an inspiring pug!

 

I think the contrast is fairly obvious. You will never catch me sleeping on the NY Times!

I think the contrast is fairly obvious. You will never catch me sleeping on the NY Times!

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Mistakes Were Made, or I’ll Take A Pug Latte, Please

  1. Roxy, Blue and Bono

    Mason,

    Too funny!!! Oh the funny things humans do! In our experience, humans can be trained…so I doubt that will happen again…humans love their coffee and don’t like to waste it!

    Your fans,
    Roxy, Blue and Bono

  2. Mason, this story is truly the definition of the “tragic comedy” – a drenched pug and all that lost coffee? tragedy. The outright physical comedy of the incident? hilarious.

  3. Poor Lizzie… What a morning she had… Good thing you were clever enough to keep your distance Mason!

  4. Erin

    This is Chloe and my sisters and I just had to laugh over that crazy story, Mason! Yes, if only it was hot fudge or gravy. Sigh…what might have been, right? Once on Thanksgiving, my mom made a turkey and after all the humans had carved it and gone into the dining room to eat, she left what was left of it (which was a lot) on a cutting board on the kitchen counter. Well, it was right on the edge, and was dripping off the counter and onto the floor! My sister, Lexie was the only one to notice this wonderful opportunity, so she stayed in the kitchen while Coco and I took our usual place near everyone’s feet during the meal. So about 30 minutes later, my mom went back into the kitchen and noticed Lexie all covered in turkey drippings! Oh, I’m sure a few suculant drops fell into her mouth, but for the most part, her whole head and back were covered in the glorious nectar! So my mom runs for a wet towel, but Coco and I were lucky enough to get in a few licks before my mom wiped her down. And she still tasted and smelled of turkey for the rest of the night until her bath! Oh, what fun we had sniffing her and continuing to try to lick her, even though she was mostly cleaned up.
    The day will go down as one of our best ever!
    Pugs…we’re nothing if not opportunists! Oh, and tell Lizzie we’re sorry for the whole coffee incident. And we’re especially sorry it was only coffee!

  5. Sleeping on the Times. Obviously a very well read pug indeed!

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