A Pug Faces His Demons or My Soul’s Darkest Hour

I know some of you humans may think when you read this entry that I am being overly dramatic or blowing an innocuous situation completely out of proportion, but every pug will immediately understand what I am saying.

There is no soft peddling this topic, no sugar coating that makes such an unbearable experience palatable. I refer, dear reader, to the trimming of a pug’s toenails.

 This one event can transform a perfectly wonderful and carefree day into the blackest and most terrifying of a pug’s life…akin to staring into the gaping abyss of Hell and seeing Satan’s fiery maw waiting to consume sixteen little toenails! I have no idea why this is so extraordinarily painful for a pug, but it is. I have tried the manly approach, only to fold like a two dollar suitcase, requiring the assistance of five vet techs to restrain me whilst foam spews from my mouth, unearthly howls erupt from my throat, and my eyes bulge and roll wildly about in my head. This is humiliating for me but it is one thing over which I seemingly have no control.

 I have heard whispers from my mother that a trimming is imminent. I heard her speak with Grandma about doing it tomorrow, along with the dreaded bath. I think, however, that they’ve decided to wait for my appointment with my Cape Cod doctor the following week. I can only hope and pray that this is true. I know it is only delaying the inevitable but a week will seem a great gift.

 There are not enough treats in the world to assuage the anxiety, stress, and pain of this medieval form of torture. The bitter irony of this is that simple- minded little Lizzard rarely, if ever, has to have hers trimmed! I don’t understand this at all. We walk the same streets in the same manner and her toenails are always perfect.

Pray for me…

 

Respectfully submitted,

 

 Mason

 
 

Happier times...buffalo jerky in my mouth and toenails that look fine to me.

Happier times...buffalo jerky in my mouth and toenails that look fine to me.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “A Pug Faces His Demons or My Soul’s Darkest Hour

  1. Roxy, Blue and Bono

    Mason,
    Excellent topic and you captured the whole experience perfect! We used to be just like that and our parents had to take us to the vet a couple of times to have our nails done. But then they switched to the dremmel tool and things are so much better. It took awhile before we realized that it wasn’t nearly as bad as the clippers. Now even Blue calmly gets his nails done. He was the worse and swore up a bloody storm every time…no swearing now. They sell Pet-a-Paws at Bed, Bath and Beyond or get a dremmel tool at a hardware store. Pet-a-Paws is not as high powered so it takes longer to file the nails down but it’s not as scary.

    Have a great trip!
    Your fans,
    Roxy, Blue and Bono

  2. Been there, done that…my toenails are like aliens. They grow quickly, wantonly, and painfully — curving into my pads and taking hold of my skin. I’m afraid there is no simple solution for my toe woes. I must just endure. But thank you for the encouraging ideas and words of support….

  3. Roxy, Blue and Bono

    oops, hello, major typos in our last comment…sorry about that! We meant to spell…Pedi Paws and dremel tool…(we’ll blame it on Roxy since she does our typing for us).

    Mason,

    Sorry to hear that the dremel doesn’t work for you either. Yikes,

    “curving into my pads and taking hold of my skin”…does sound like a horror movie!!

    We feel your pain!

    Your fans,
    Roxy, Blue and Bono

  4. Lexie, Chloe and Coco

    Oh Mason, we feel your pain (quite literally)! I don’t know who invented nail trimmings, but it sure wasn’t with a pug in mind! Our parents take us to the groomer about once a month or so just for this very torture (our mom says she just can’t put “herself” through it again…for some reason she thinks the trauma is hard on “her”…I don’t get it either). In fact, she mentioned just this morning that we were “due”, and that doesn’t sound good. We’ll pray for you if you pray for us, okay?
    ~Lex, Chloe and Coco

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