Hang My Portrait on The Wall of Shame

Oh my, dear reader, my soul is in turmoil and I am tormented by the demons of my transgressions. It is to this forum that I must turn in confession, lest I find myself spiraling downward into Dante’s ninth circle of Hell.

How to begin? This may be the one blog entry you wish to skip over, and then hope that better days lie ahead for yours truly. I am an addict. There, I’ve said it. I have a vile predilection, a taste for the highly unsavory (by human standards), a penchant for the forbidden. Many of you pugs reading this will know immediately to what I refer, so don’t pretend you don’t.

I thought I was managing this addiction fairly well this summer, but with two highly productive cats and two litter boxes in the house, I am surrounded by temptation on a daily basis. I also have noted that Grandma and Grandpa have become much more lax about maintenance of said boxes. I was weak yesterday, weak with hunger I should say, but the results were disastrous. Apparently this foray was my undoing, my overdose, if you will. The evidence lay all over my bed and when Grandpa discovered it, he ran downstairs to confer with Grandma. It was inconceivable to them that I would soil my own bed, but the evidence was irrefutable. Only today Grandma realized the vile product, that she assumed was “an accident,” was in fact the result of my stomach discharging its rich and toxic contents.

There will be no intervention, but I am guessing there will be greater vigilance for the rest of my stay here. You see the depth of my despair and shame, but at least I won’t be wearing the dreaded diapers that Grandma threatened before she knew the truth.

As the Pet Shop Boys sang, “So I look back upon my life, Forever with a sense of shame, I’ve always been the one to blame, For everything I long to do, No matter where or when or who, Has one thing in common too, It’s a Sin.”

I am a monster.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

P.S. I cannot show my face on this entry.

Advertisements

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

6 responses to “Hang My Portrait on The Wall of Shame

  1. 2pugsinapod

    No rehab for the celebrity pug with a problem? Take comfort in the fact that we all do it. Or would if we got the chance.

  2. Paula

    Oh Mason- you are not alone in your shame. We too (the Hersey Hounds) have occasionally had an order of “kitty crullers”. Temptation is hard to resist..

  3. Poor, poor Mason!!!! Everyone slips once in a while. The key is to get back on the wagon and start fresh. We will not judge you for succumbing to temptation. But we will support you in your effort to not let it happen again!!! We are only pugs and every once in a great while, we falter. We are here for you!!!!

    Lilo

  4. No shame, Mason. Most of us with feline housemates have given in to the temptation of those “chewy on the inside, crunchy on the outside” treats at one time or another. Mom has given me “the Look” when telltale bits of litter clung to my nose, but she understands the fault lies not in me, but in my palate. She redoubles her efforts to remove the tasty tidbits before they lead me again to indulge my appetite for the forbidden fruit!

  5. The Toot here… Oh Mason, Please don’t feel bad… We all love to dabble in the tasting of those fabulous “kitty crunchies” here also… They are just too irresistible…

  6. Lexie, Chloe & Coco

    Oh Mason,
    While our feline sister, Tabitha goes outside to do her business, we occasionally get some “Kitty Roca” courtesy of our grandma’s cat whenver we go out there to visit (that is, however, if they accidently forget to shut the laundry room door where the feast…we mean the “roca” resides). So rest assured, you are not alone in your shame!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s