“Imitation is the Sincerest of Flattery” or Make Her Leave Me Alone

When Charles Colton coined the above phrase, I doubt he had in mind an annoying and clingy little pug named Lizzie that makes it her life’s work shadowing me. I am not a mean-spirited or spiteful creature, believe me, but sometimes a man-pug needs his space. When we are traversing the trails of Eagle Pond, I would like to  commune freely with nature, and savor the olfactory offerings of decaying flora, fauna, and biota without little Miss Dainty Maid always hovering at my side.

When I go upstairs for a nap, I do not need her following in my footsteps. After I successfully complete an outdoor mission and return indoors, I do not need her begging for a carrot along side me, when she has done nothing! It is both annoying and frustrating.

She needs to remain in her own bed at night. Had I wanted a sleeping partner I would have asked for a double bed. I don’t understand why, in the middle of the night, she leaves her sheepskin nest and wedges her round little body into my tiny, ascetic  bed – one designed for a single small animal. It is so tight a squeeze that I cannot move during the night.

She also needs to stop waiting for me on walks. She momentarily forgets herself, realizes I am not by her side, and then she does this disgusting little pirouette and runs back to me. I am really tired of her subservient antics.

I don’t know if she thinks I am flattered by her mimicry or if she just can’t help herself. Whatever the answer, she needs to stop. I do not object, however, to her defending me when dogs begin barking and snarling wildly at us. When that happens, she transforms herself into a crazed vixen, charging and barking without any fear or trepidation. I am always amazed when I see her go into this mode. I call her the “transformer” and it secretly pleases me no end.

I guess I’ll never understand females.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Look how she clings to me on the bench at Eagle Pond

Look how she clings to me on the bench at Eagle Pond

Here she is alone at Eagle Pond...something rare.

Here she is alone at Eagle Pond...something rare.

A really nice shot of yours truly...standing tall and independent.

A really nice shot of yours truly...standing tall and independent.

Here I am out at the island yesterday, exploring the flora in the dunes.

Here I am out at the island yesterday, exploring the flora in the dunes.

Here she is on the trail in the dunes, looking for...who else?

Here she is on the trail in the dunes, looking for...who else?

Here I am in the water ready to board the boat for the return trip yesterday.

Here I am in the water ready to board the boat for the return trip yesterday.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to ““Imitation is the Sincerest of Flattery” or Make Her Leave Me Alone

  1. 2pugsinapod

    Ah, Mason. You don’t realize that Lizzie feels for you the way that you feel for Chloe. Have a little sympathy for the unrequited in love. You know how it feels.
    Respectfully,
    Tallulah and Petunia

  2. Dearest Mason, it is with the utmost love, admiration and respect that Lizzie does these things. She is but a fool in love as you have been yourself. Show her the consideration that you wanted Chloe to show you. You never know, the annoying and clingy little pug may grow on you =)

    Lilo

  3. Pugsley

    Mason, I too was a single pug until my shadow Honey-Bump came along. I love her alright, but I don’t love sharing my house with her. The first few weeks she came along she did ungodly things in there that any self respecting pugs know to do outside. Thank goodness that has stopped. However, she is still a bit of a biter and a bone stealer. Sisters, sheesh! I feel your pain.

    Sympathetically,

    Pugsley

  4. Dora Salinas

    Dear Mason,

    Poor Lizzie doesn’t know how else to show you how much she loves you. Please be patient with her. It will be worth it.

    Furever your friend,
    Madison

  5. Lexie, Chloe & Coco

    Dear Mason,
    As the oldest, I can relate to your woes, as my little sisters constantly follow me around too. Coco even likes to give me kisses on my face, which I tolerate (and Mommy and Daddy think is adorable). But look at it this way….think of your life without Lizzie…it would be very lonely, wouldn’t it? Even for a handsome “man pug” like yourself, you’d miss Lizzie if she weren’t by your side. Even if you think you wouldn’t!
    ~Lexie

  6. Mason
    You and Lizzie are beautiful pugs. My pugs (I have four) always lay together… except for Porkchop. That is because thinks he is not a dog. 🙂

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