Pug Windbreaking, or I’ve Still Got What It Takes

Ah, dear reader, there are some minutiae of a pug’s life better left unspoken, but there are, of course, always exceptions to the rule. In this instance I would feel remiss if I didn’t recount, with some degree of both embarrassment and pride, the most recent of events.

I do not pretend to understand the physiology of a pug but I do know when there is an excess accumulation of methane gas, it must be released. I have no idea why this morning found me suffering so from this affliction. I ate nothing unusual yesterday, and if fact, enjoyed one of the most relaxed and indolent of days with my mom. We spent it lazing on the couch, watching movies and napping, wrapped in a cocoon of love and warmth. This morning, however, my flatulence probably surpassed any I have ever  experienced in my life…surprising even yours truly. For those of you who would rather not hear the somewhat graphic details, I would advise you to close this entry now. For the rest of you with prurient interest and curiosity, read on, but please forgive the slightly distasteful nature of this expose.

Mom bundled us up for our morning outing and as we were ambulating briskly along Clinton Street, I let loose such forceful wind that two young men, standing outside of their apartment building, exclaimed, “Dude! Did you just hear that dog? I mean, did you hear him? He exploded!” My mom, bless her soul, always quick to rush to my defense, turned toward them and said, “Yeah, right, like the dog did it.”

We continued on our way and much to my astonishment, I again let forth a magnificent detonation, so that there could be no doubt whatsoever as to its source. Mom was horrified but, I also suspect, a bit amused. She felt the need to question its source all the way home.

And so, dear reader, for those of you who might wonder if this old pug is all that he should be, let me assure you that I am still capable of producing the kind of resounding, virile, and highly competitive flatus any man or pug would be proud to claim.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

P.S. My eye is healing nicely and Mom freed me of my collar yesterday.

A pug in his prime, master of his domain, and king of his castle.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Pug Windbreaking, or I’ve Still Got What It Takes

  1. Madison

    Dear Mason,

    I also sometimes have an issue with “flatulence.” It can even bring a tear to my Mom’s eye….but I just pretend that it wasn’t me.

    Your devoted fan,
    Madison

  2. mary

    You must visit mypugmax.com and check out his public service announcement video. You won’t feel so bad.

  3. Micah John

    Mason I am having gas problems also. I am taking Gas X that Dr. Kevin perscribed. Dude I’ll let you know if works. Fellow pug Micah John

  4. Mother often gives Delilah and I spritz of Dog Smog. It is supposed to “control emissions from both ends” of us dogs. I get pretty breath while I lay on Mother’s pillow and Delilah…well, she needs a lot of Dog Smog so she usually sleeps near the foot of the bed, rarely up near the pillows. As for sound, though…Mason that is all you, dude. Can’t imagine detonating with such force and sound.

    Glad to hear you are free of the torturous cone.

    ~Wilbur

  5. Lexie, Chloe & Coco

    Oh my! As lady pugs, we should probably act horrified. But we know our dad will love this latest entry, Mason!
    You do all men (and pug men) proud.

    ~Lexie, Chloe and Coco

    p.s. Tell your mom that our mom admires her quick wit! 🙂

  6. Roxy, Blue and Bono

    LOL!!!

    Your pug fans,
    Roxy, Blue and Bono

  7. LOL!!! …only a Pug lover could understand such!

  8. LOL………only a true Pug lover could understand the true meaning of such!!!

  9. Mogwai

    Dear Mason,
    I to have powerful methane releases mine are quiet though. I am proud to say I am able to quietly clear any room or house almost on command.

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