“Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty;
for in my youth I never did apply hot and rebellious
liquors in my blood; and did not, with unbashful
forehead, woo the means of weakness and debility:
therefore my age is as a lusty winter, frosty but kindly.”
William Shakespeare, As You Like It
We laugh about it, reference it in our jokes, and point out those who suffer from it. We feel secure from its progressive and relentless approach. Old age, if we live long enough, afflicts all living creatures, both great and small. Yours truly has officially entered that dreaded and much maligned realm.
It should have come as no surprise that, with my various physical limitations, I would eventually be forced into wearing “the cloth,” i.e. diaper. I know many of you are gasping and reeling in shock, but let me assure each and every one of you that there truly are worse symbols and afflictions of senior status. I, for one, am willing to embrace the employment of any prophylactic aid that will enable me to continue living a “strong and lusty” life.
You’ve all seen the ads, giggled at the names – Depends, Poise, Dignity – and assured yourself that life wouldn’t be worth living if any of these became part of your wardrobe. Well, this man-pug can say, without embarrassment, that the donning of nighttime diapers is not the direst fate awaiting you. Frankly, I appreciate the comfort and security these little denim drawers afford me. Knowing I won’t be shooting off a missile(s) onto the bed or floor makes me sleep a lot easier (and my parents too).
So, dear reader, embrace your senior status when you achieve it. We should rejoice in our venerable stature and laugh at the foolishness of youth, knowing that most of us eventually travel the same path.
I know who I am and I’m more than a diaper!
You know, of course, that I do have limits. There will be no photo of yours truly in his nighttime accoutrements.