For Whom the Bell Tolls, or Pavlovian Pug

You may wonder, those of you who happen to read my Facebook page, what my somewhat cryptic but philosophic thoughts referenced yesterday. They were not the aberrant wanderings of an addled brain, let me assure you. Our weekday mornings have a comforting sameness and when that routine is broken by the unexpected or unusual, I am literally thrown out of my comfort zone.

As Lizzie and I waited patiently for our humble ¼ cup of kibbles to be doled out by Dad, our doorbell rang. Shock and then instant mobilization! I was at the door in a trice, ready to greet the pizza boy at 6:45 am. My brain works in a very linear fashion and there is little to no reasoning in its function…A + B = C…the bell rings, it is pizza being delivered, and it is my job to wait for it. There cannot be any other possibility. When the pizza didn’t arrive within the anticipated time frame, I began a furious and unearthly barking, somewhat akin to a death keen. I looked frantically around at Mom and Dad, and then at Lizzie who had curled up for her morning nap. Why weren’t they crazed with excitement and concern? My eyes shot wildly about as I kept up my cries. Finally, my parents approached me, telling me in a somewhat patronizing way that it was a mistake. There was no pizza coming, which is worse than a child being told there is no Santa Claus. They said someone had hit our buzzer by mistake. At this point I lost my cool and began to howl even louder. There was no consolation for me, and the bitterness of my reality slowly sunk in.

And so you understand, dear reader, the true meaning of yesterday’s Facebook update. I am a pug that functions within the parameters of my limited world and when those parameters are breached, then I lose my mental compass. Yesterday was a very trying day for yours truly, but since tonight is Friday my hope springs anew!

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Waiting

Waiting

Always waiting

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “For Whom the Bell Tolls, or Pavlovian Pug

  1. Poor Mason, I can’t believe there was no pizza boy!!!! How devastating that must have been for you!! I do hope they make it up to you tonight!!!

    Lilo

  2. sue

    oh poor mason maybe mommy and daddy will get pizza tonight for dinner I must say you are one beautiful puggy hope you enjoy your weekend and you get pizza for dinner

  3. Aw Mason, that’s just brutal. Getting your hopes up like that, exposing your conditioned response…I totally empathize.

    Mother does not order enough pizza for me, however I have developed a habit myself…when people ‘check out’ at the counter at work, there is a glass treat jar there. When I hear the beep of the register, I go to stand at their feet, near the jar. When they don’t use their height and their opposable thumbs to open the jar and get me cookies, I scratch at their legs (this usually works quite well). I am not sure quite who is being ‘conditioned’ here, but if it yields treats, I cannot see that it matters.

    I think your folks should bring home (or have delivered) a pizza for you tonight. It is Friday, which is an excellent night for pizza.

    Paws crossed that you get a gooey cheesey meat-lover’s delight pizza for dinner.

    ~Wilbur

  4. Lexie, Chloe & Coco

    Oh dear Mason, we feel your pain! What a terrible trauma for you to have to get over. We wish you a weekend of pizza and various other treats to help soothe your anguish!

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