Mason: Like I always say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” or in this case don’t be fooled by an idiotic face, i.e. Lizzie. I always knew there was a dark side hiding beneath her guileless, vapid expression and this morning my suspicions were confirmed. Oh, I know there are groups of you readers who think Lizzie is the greatest thing since sliced bread but I am here to put those false notions to rest. She is a dominatrix of the highest and most sordid order because I know what I saw.
The three bitches (or “witches” as I fondly refer to them) were indulging in their particularly favorite but highly repugnant three-way girl play on an overstuffed chair in the TV room. I find it a ridiculous waste of time and yet, for some reason, Grandma and Grandpa find it delightfully entertaining. This morning, however, the play took on a different hue, so to speak. Daphne, the alpha and very butch Frenchie was being worked over by Cecily (the docile black pug). Daphne occasionally lets Cecily be top dog, just to break up the monotony of this play. Whilst Cecily was straddling Daphne, that cunning little minx Lizzie mounted Cecily and began the universal movement usually reserved for males. Cecily was oblivious, as was Daphne, but not our little Lizzie. She was transported by her efforts until Grandma caught sight of her and called out her name in shock. Lizzie quickly dismounted and slunk away.
Dear reader, I rest my case. Enough said.
Lizzie: Oh that Mason! He has such a suspicious and dirty mind sometimes. Honestly, I wonder what books or TV shows he watches that put these thoughts into his head. He is right about some of what he says. The three of us were playing this morning, which is something we love to do. It is how we bond as females and it is our “girl time.” Daphne, because she is still a puppy but bigger and stronger than Cecily and me, can become very intense when we play and sometimes a little rough. My nature always makes me want to protect Cecily, or at least comfort her. I like to lick her ears and face while Daphne chews on her leg or head. This morning, because Cecily finally had the upper hand with Daphne I just joined in, helping Cecily. Mason sees something icky and I don’t. I was just comforting her and maybe showing a little bit of dominance, but it was not what he thought he saw. You know me…I am not that kind of girl and I am embarrassed by the whole situation. Mason, can we just let it go?