He Said, She Said, or I Know What I Saw

Mason:  Like I always say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” or in this case don’t be fooled by an idiotic face, i.e. Lizzie. I always knew there was a dark side hiding beneath her guileless, vapid expression and this morning my suspicions were confirmed. Oh, I know there are groups of you readers who think Lizzie is the greatest thing since sliced bread but I am here to put those false notions to rest. She is a dominatrix of the highest and most sordid order because I know what I saw.

The three bitches (or “witches” as I fondly refer to them) were indulging in their particularly favorite but highly repugnant three-way girl play on an overstuffed chair in the TV room. I find it a ridiculous waste of time and yet, for some reason, Grandma and Grandpa find it delightfully entertaining. This morning, however, the play took on a different hue, so to speak. Daphne, the alpha and very butch Frenchie was being worked over by Cecily (the docile black pug). Daphne occasionally lets Cecily be top dog, just to break up the monotony of this play. Whilst Cecily was straddling Daphne, that cunning little minx Lizzie mounted Cecily and began the universal movement usually reserved for males. Cecily was oblivious, as was Daphne, but not our little Lizzie. She was transported by her efforts until Grandma caught sight of her and called out her name in shock. Lizzie quickly dismounted and slunk away.

Dear reader, I rest my case. Enough said.

Respectfully submitted,


Lizzie: Oh that Mason! He has such a suspicious and dirty mind sometimes. Honestly, I wonder what books or TV shows he watches that put these thoughts into his head. He is right about some of what he says. The three of us were playing this morning, which is something we love to do. It is how we bond as females and it is our “girl time.” Daphne, because she is still a puppy but bigger and stronger than Cecily and me, can become very intense when we play and sometimes a little rough. My nature always makes me want to protect Cecily, or at least comfort her. I like to lick her ears and face while Daphne chews on her leg or head. This morning, because Cecily finally had the upper hand with Daphne I just joined in, helping Cecily. Mason sees something icky and I don’t. I was just comforting her and maybe showing a little bit of dominance, but it was not what he thought he saw. You know me…I am not that kind of girl and I am embarrassed by the whole situation. Mason, can we just let it go?



Mason: This picture tells the entire sordid story. Lizzie: Two innocent girlfriends...that is all!


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13 responses to “He Said, She Said, or I Know What I Saw

  1. sue

    Mason you crack me up I love reading your blog I don’t think its just females as I have five pugs three are male and two female and yes the females will do the same with each other and to the male my males will do it to each other but it is only the females that wash the other pugs mostly there ears I agree with Lizzie you should just get over it its just being silly girls

    • I’m afraid the visual image remains strong in my mind, and while I’d love to give her the benefit of doubt I suspect she had nefarious motives…Mason

      Mason, you need to get over yourself! Sorry, you know I love you, but you’re wrong…Lizzie

  2. Lilo

    Mason, take it from a girl that believes in asserting herself, there is nothing wrong with a little dominance. Sometimes you just have to show the others who’s boss!!



  3. Mason, this here is your support pal Howie. I admire your er, stamina, having to put up with 3 females in one household. I jest got one female and she tries to boss us three boys around all the time, even though she is half the size of my hind leg. I surely hope that you are not getting triple whammy bossing there. If so, here’s my address in case you need a change of scenery:
    Howie’s House
    Tree in Front Yard

    • Howie, my friend in misery…
      You’ve no idea what my days are like. There is so much virtual estrogen in the air, I can barely breathe…and now to see that slug Lizzie transformed into an Amazon pug is so disheartening. I will fight them until the bitter end, but I do appreciate your offer and am strongly considering it…Mason

  4. Roxy, Blue and Bono

    Hi Mason,

    Great blog entry! We can totally relate!!

    Girls gone wild! what? no video? 😉

    Your Pug Fans,
    Roxy, Blue and Bono

    • Thank you, West Coast Pugs, but no video of this disgusting behavior. They get enough attention as it is…any more air time would make my life unbearable.

  5. …not that there’s anything wrong with that….
    Mister Bean

  6. Lexie, Chloe & Coco's Mom

    Ah yes, the girl-on-girl wrestling action that slips into the soft porn category. With 3 alpha girls in our house, we have that here at times!
    Most males love this kind of thing, Mason. At least human males seem to!

    Maybe you just have more class than humans…something we’ve known all along!

    • Dear Mom of Lexie, Chloe & Coco,
      You made me laugh, I must admit. And you’re right, most males do tend to have a certain preference for that wanton behavior…perhaps in my youth, but I fear I am such an old curmudgeon now that anything bordering on vulgarity and uncontrolled behavior nauseates me.
      Always good having your insight.

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