I Get No Respect, or Nobody Knows the Troubles I’ve Seen

This is a tale of two pugs…one good and one extremely bad. Surrounded by treachery, deceit, and disrespect I am forced to dredge up Rodney Dangerfield’s most famous tag line and apply it to my situation. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating…Lizzie is a sly puss, a tricky little minx, and not the innocent everyone believes her to be. She is the enemy, make no mistake about that, and even though I am physically limited (hence my undoing), I have experience, intelligence, and patience.

Let me explain. Last week, on a particularly boring afternoon, one where napping and restless pacing weren’t a viable option for either of us, Lizzie decided she would violate the holy of holies, that she would take the one sacred object of mine which even my parents are loath to touch…my little bear. If you recall, from an ancient blog, I have honed my shaping skills to such a fine art that Little Bear sports an exquisite belly Mohawk of unyielding stiffness. He is a prized source of comfort and release. Lizzie is well aware of his revered and inviolate status, and yet, on this day, she chose to transgress.

In her perversity she made a subversive foray into Little Bear’s safe zone, i.e. my bed. Snatching him up in her foul little mouth she trotted across the living room to the ottoman, where she nimbly sprung up onto its surface. Knowing full well I can no longer perform that maneuver due to the degeneration of my hindquarters, she proceeded to maul it wantonly in my presence. Horror of horrors…I thought my heart would burst with pain and anguish. How could she be so cruel? How could she defile this precious object with such casual abandon? At that moment I wished only to save Little Bear from her vile mouth and then destroy her. Unfortunately I could do neither.

At the appointed time of Mom’s return from work, that little she-devil pranced to the door, wagging and wiggling wildly. Mom, of course, greeted her effusively asking what she was so excited about and, I can scarcely believe it as I retell it, that evil strumpet led Mom to the ottoman where Little Bear lay. Mom wanted to believe, for a split second, that I had regained the use of my hind legs and had been able to make the leap. She was sure Lizzie was excited about my recovery. But, as you and I both know, Lizzie of the black heart and treacherous soul was seeking approval for the coup of her lifetime.

I am down but certainly not done. Vengeance is mine and I need only to wait for the perfect opportunity to rain down a revenge of epic proportions on this false pug. Patience and time.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Pure bliss...Little Bear and I sharing a moment

Advertisements

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

8 responses to “I Get No Respect, or Nobody Knows the Troubles I’ve Seen

  1. sue

    Mason that was not a nice thing for Lizzie to do I am sure you will have your turn of revenge on her and I might say you are still handsome as ever hugs to you sue and my six pugs

    • No truer words were ever spoken. I shall have my revenge in due time.
      And thank you, Sue, for noting I retain a certain “je ne sais quoi” despite the infirmities of old age.
      Mason

  2. Myra

    I had the pleasure of meeting Mason and Lizzie in person when they stayed with their grandparents in Connecticut. They are two of the most adorable pugs I have ever seen (after my pug, Hazel, of course.) I thoroughly enjoy reading about Mason’s (and Lizzie’s) trials and tribulations. Their personalities are exactly as you write about them. Thank you for sharing their tails (pun intended) with us!

  3. Myra,
    I certainly do remember making your acquaintance with great pleasure; unfortunately, it was with that traitorous vixen Lizzie. Thank you so much for your very kind words and I hope we can meet again.
    Best,
    Mason

  4. Stefanie Hoffman

    Mason,
    I truly thought that Lizzie was a sweet, misunderstood, little hottie. I longed to have a girl like her in my home to snuggle at night. But now I have to admit that I see her for what she is, a cruel and heartless vixen! I also have a priceless source of comfort and joy, my racoon. If anyone were to violate it in such a way………….I can’t even imagine!!! I hope you are able to recover from this horrible crime against you.
    Wubby

  5. Wubby,
    You are not the first to be fooled by her enticing ways, brother, but hot? That I fail to see but at least you understand my pain and need for revenge. The memory still haunts me but I will soldier on as I always do.
    Thanks for writing and commiserating.
    Mason

  6. Hank

    Wow, bud……now THAT is dirty pool I tell ya what!

    Dirty pool.

    Yep. Mmhmm.

  7. Pug Chick

    I read this story to my three pugs, Puga, Pixie and Louie. Puga was agast!! She being the first and foremost pug in the family. She understands you plight as she feels the same way about Pixie’s arrival. She was happy to a have a playmate at first until she realized that Pixie did not come for a playdate but to stay! Now they have this love hate relationship going on. Louie arrived sometime later and thinks he is King and mommy is his and his only not to be shared. Then there are Bonnie & Clyde the Boston Terriors. Who live up to both their namesake and pedigree. Clyde is Louie’s nemisis and vice versa. Poor Puga can only dream of the days when it was just her and her alone… Sigh… It gives her some consolation that she is not the only Pug to have had to endure these intrusions. Misery loves company.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s