Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold, or What Goes Around Comes Around

As you recall, dear reader, when last I wrote, Lizzie had committed the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the most egregious of crimes against another pug — the taking of a prized possession and then defiling it. I did vow to seek revenge, even if it involved patience and planning. Never did I dream that said revenge would actually fall into my lap due to the carelessness of my dad.

On a typical workday morning, Dad assumes the role of pug caregiver, unless, of course, he is out of town. This Monday morning was no exception to our normal routine: we get up, are taken downstairs, fed our breakfast, suited up, walked, cleaned up after, and returned to our apartment. This morning, however, one of the steps was neglected, which worked to my advantage, as you will learn.

Upon gaining entrance to our apartment, Dad always goes to his bathroom, which is downstairs, and performs his morning ritual. I rest on the living room rug, which affords me a 360-degree view of our dwelling. Resting comfortably I became aware of a pleasant sensation…the absence of one offensive female pug. Yes, dear reader, Lizzie had been left behind. At that same instant, a frantic scratching sound began, coming from the direction of the apartment door. I chose to ignore it because suddenly my life was filled with hope, joy, and contentment; however, the noise became louder causing Dad to shout out, “Annie, do you hear that noise?” Mom was upstairs in her bathroom blowing out her hair and heard nothing. Dad again yelled out for her to listen. I, of course, remained mum, knowing that fate, God, or divine justice had bestowed upon me this miracle. Dad, in frustration, finally walked into the living room and listened, looked around, and shouted, “Lizzie!” He opened the door and there she stood…a pathetic little groundhog of a pug. She trotted wildly into the room, wagging and wiggling idiotically, and then sought out my company for solace and reassurance. It wasn’t as if she had been left outdoors in the rain or snow, but to see her pathos you would have believed otherwise.

There you have it, dear reader…a small piece of my greater plan, but one that will keep evolving until I am satisfied that she has been sufficiently punished for her sin. And no, I did not offer her any comfort at all.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

The Idiot and I

Little Bear and I, in happier times

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold, or What Goes Around Comes Around

  1. Wubby's Mama

    Mason,
    It sounds like you may get a bit of help with your revenge from a little thing called Karma. Obviously the lizzard has never heard the phrase
    What Goes Around Comes Around
    I look forward to hearing what other things become of her.
    Wubby

    • Dear Wubby,
      Karma was definitely the secret ingredient in Lizzie’s mishap. This, however, is not finished and I shall have to keep my eyes wide open for the the next opportunity.
      Thanks for writing,
      Mason

  2. sue

    sounds like you got your revenge on lizzie she must have been frantic being left out I think the both of you are even now you should work on getting along together and as always you are a handsome pug Mason hugs Sue and the pug gang

    • Sue,
      Ah, in a perfect world we would be even, but in my world, we’re not even close. I realize that makes me sound like a small-minded pug, but this time she went too far.
      Thank you again for noting my appearance. I do try to take care of myself and eat healthy.
      Mason

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