Just when I thought my life was at a standstill, I win the lottery! Well, not literally, but for a highly motivated pug that is fully committed to the acquisition of food, there is nothing more momentous or thrilling than learning that Mom and Dad are hosting a dinner party. It is the Holy Grail, the brass ring, and the penultimate of events for such a pug. Now, the down side of this news is the acute realization that in order to achieve that goal, a pug must be willing to work hard at his craft. A lukewarm approach will garner no reward. A clever pug knows that he must expend an inordinate amount of energy wagging his curled up stump of a tail, cocking his head coquettishly, standing posed and poised, and sending out the subliminal message of “Aren’t I adorable, don’t you want to feed me something from your plate, you know you can’t resist me, and just look at how grateful I am.” This is exhausting and time-consuming, folks, but yours truly is a veteran of this campaign.
Guests arrived at 4:30 and there I was, at the door giving out the best pug vibe I could muster. I did not go off duty until about 11:00, and then only because I couldn’t stand up any longer. I am both embarrassed and gladdened by the fact that goofy old Lizzie has no interest in this opportunity…embarrassed since she calls herself a pug and gladdened because it gave me such a huge field in which to work my game.
The best parties involve a serious amount of liquor, so that with any luck the event should take on a bacchanalian quality. Guests who imbibe are, as the evening progresses, usually loose and generous with bits of foods. Also, they become sloppy, dropping food carelessly. That is when I become a superstar in this production. Since this was a terrace party, I was able to move freely and swiftly, so that no crumb was ever left untouched for more than two seconds.
What a wonderful welcome to spring. I am still recuperating, dear reader, but basking in my memories of the first of many warm weather food events.
Here I am, lying on the terrace floor, waiting for the magic. Note my focus
Another rather nice shot of yours truly, waiting eagerly on the chaise for the first guests.
How many of you pug owners/managers/companions have made a startling discovery about your pug, regarding his/her seemingly infinite capacity for the consumption of food? We are, by our very nature, voracious and compulsive eaters of anything that resembles food or food byproducts. I know that many of you, and you know to whom I speak, would like to believe that your adorable little puggly wuggly will know when to apply the proverbial food brakes to an eating frenzy. I am here to dispel that notion forever! FACT: We will eat until we explode. This is true, dear reader.
Which brings me to the difficult piece of this warning, difficult because it goes against all that I hold near and dear to myself. I feel as if I am betraying my breed by issuing this warning, but “Cutums Sweetums” needs Mom or Dad (or both) to be the voice of reason when it comes to meting out food and treats. And be prepared because your little bugged-eyed angel will fix you with the most intense, pleading, laser-like stare, after devouring an entire bag of baby carrots. You will be tempted to say to yourself “just one more won’t hurt.” That one more can be the straw that breaks the pug’s back!
We are so endearing, so convincing, and so relentless in our pursuit of even a crumb of food, that you parents must remain strong in the face of our puggy wiles. I personally have witnessed a trained medical professional fold like a two-dollar suitcase, just from feeding me a liver treat after a particularly invasive medical procedure. This veterinarian then got down on the floor and tossed one treat after another down my gaping maw, saying how much fun it was watching me catch treats midair.(I have to give Grandma credit for teaching me this highly effective trick.)
So yes, we are adorable and we know how much you love us…just don’t love us to death. You must offer us tough love, but understand we will not thank you.
Not a particularly interesting shot, but you can see I am eating from a proper feeding station.
Here is Lizzard tucking into her chow. Note too her feeding station is correctly elevated.