For Whom the Bell Tolls, or Pavlovian Pug

You may wonder, those of you who happen to read my Facebook page, what my somewhat cryptic but philosophic thoughts referenced yesterday. They were not the aberrant wanderings of an addled brain, let me assure you. Our weekday mornings have a comforting sameness and when that routine is broken by the unexpected or unusual, I am literally thrown out of my comfort zone.

As Lizzie and I waited patiently for our humble ¼ cup of kibbles to be doled out by Dad, our doorbell rang. Shock and then instant mobilization! I was at the door in a trice, ready to greet the pizza boy at 6:45 am. My brain works in a very linear fashion and there is little to no reasoning in its function…A + B = C…the bell rings, it is pizza being delivered, and it is my job to wait for it. There cannot be any other possibility. When the pizza didn’t arrive within the anticipated time frame, I began a furious and unearthly barking, somewhat akin to a death keen. I looked frantically around at Mom and Dad, and then at Lizzie who had curled up for her morning nap. Why weren’t they crazed with excitement and concern? My eyes shot wildly about as I kept up my cries. Finally, my parents approached me, telling me in a somewhat patronizing way that it was a mistake. There was no pizza coming, which is worse than a child being told there is no Santa Claus. They said someone had hit our buzzer by mistake. At this point I lost my cool and began to howl even louder. There was no consolation for me, and the bitterness of my reality slowly sunk in.

And so you understand, dear reader, the true meaning of yesterday’s Facebook update. I am a pug that functions within the parameters of my limited world and when those parameters are breached, then I lose my mental compass. Yesterday was a very trying day for yours truly, but since tonight is Friday my hope springs anew!

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Waiting

Waiting

Always waiting

You Oughta Be In Pictures, or My Own Fanzine

If you haven’t yet had the opportunity to visit the Mason and Lizzie fan page on Facebook, dear reader, then I suggest you do so at your earliest convenience. Being the clever sort of pug that I am (as well as a pug suffering from the winter doldrums) I conceived of a small contest for my loyal fans. They need only submit a photo of themselves, either in costume or not, to my fan photo site. The pug receiving the most positive comments wins a pawtographed copy of our book, SUMMER PUGS. I invite all readers to at least look at these remarkable photos and make a comment. I have dreams of turning this album into a book because these fellow pugs have a lot of game. I think we’ll keep this going until the end of February and then announce a winner on March 1^st. I urge you, one and all, to visit our page and take a look. It is the best free entertainment available right now.

Of course Lizzie is absolutely no help whatsoever in this venture. She just chirps in her sickeningly perky voice, “I could never choose, Mason. They are all so adorable…each and every one of them a winner!” Can you believe her? Just when I thought it was not possible that she could be any more insipid than she already is, she astonishes me. The other thing about Lizzie that really pushes my tolerance buttons, is her falseness. She pretends to care for me, worrying about my health and welfare, and she clings to me as if her very life depended on having close contact with yours truly. Lies, all lies. She is a self-serving, deceptive little wench. I’ve watched her behavior with clear and analytical eyes. She is calculating and manipulative, always carving out a place in the spotlight for herself. Oh dear, I’ve digressed. This topic is so close to my heart that I lose my focus. Forgive me, dear reader, for letting this insignificant little pug disturb my lofty thoughts.

Please stop by my fan page, look at the photos, and lose yourselves in pug rotogravure. I apologize for my Lizzie rant. It was a moment of weakness.

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

No photo today, but go to: http://www.facebook.com and search for: Mason and Lizzie.