I’ve said it before but it bears repeating…Lizzie is probably the lamest pug on the planet. Now, of course, I am coming from a somewhat biased point of view, but nonetheless, she does sometimes astound me with her incredible idiocy. She is not alone, however, in this particular instance. My father was a willing and active participant in the event I am about to describe.
Mom was away the week before last, and during her absence Dad bonded closely with the little twit. She, each and every evening after work and walkies, would snuggle on the couch in a nook Dad made with his body, and there they would lie, close and content as two proverbial peas in a pod. I, having no interest in this sort of physical commingling, was content to rest, in dignified manner, on the rug.
When Mom returned from her week of travel there was an immediate shifting of couch positions in the evening. Lizzie, reverting to some atavistic or primal urge, quickly returned to Mom, seeking her spot in the crook of Mom’s legs where she curled up like the plump little partridge she is. Dad, who has a penchant for Blow Pops and is wont to suck two at a time, began sucking furiously as he viewed Lizzie’s treachery. Unfazed, Lizzie slept blissfully while the drama unfolded. From either side of Dad’s mouth protruded two walrus-like lollipop sticks, which he sucked on furiously as he pondered her betrayal and his hurt. I watched as, in final desperation, he lured Lizzie to his lap by pulling one of the pops out of his mouth and offering it to the object of his affection. Lizzie, being the weak-willed and sweet seeking pug that she is, succumbed without hesitation, taking the proffered pop into her mouth. Dad then removed it from her mouth and placed it back into his. This nauseating relay continued without interruption, until Mom, still jetlagged and drowsy, looked up in horror.
Well, dear reader, Dad got his silly pug back, but at what a price! I am still reeling from that visual. Mind you, it doesn’t disturb my sensibilities (I am a pug after all) but I cannot imagine my fastidious Dad, were he in his right mind, ever sharing ANY food item with a pug that cleans herself thoroughly on a daily basis. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction.
There you have it…is it true love or jealousy, or perhaps a combination of both? You be the judge.