Tag Archives: nincompoop

David and Goliath, or Mind Your Business and Not Mine

By now most of you readers know that I am a reasonable pug, respectful of all living creatures, not one who makes hasty judgments, and one who is prepared to accept all those whom I meet. So it may come as a shock to you, dear reader, to learn that I was recently forced into a situation requiring an aggressive and combative action. Yes, I have, on rare occasions, taken up the cudgels in self-defense.

It was a beautiful fall day, perfect for enjoying our daily hike around Eagle Pond.  At the end of our hike we met a pack of very large dogs, one of which was a two-hundred pound St. Bernard. They were all quite wet from swimming and were filled with the kind of high spirits that large beasts are wont to after exercise. I, in my  gracious but somewhat reserved manner, made them welcome and allowed the usual sniffing, circling, and general inspection, before moving on. All but the St. Bernard did just that, but he, for some unknown reason, became more persistent and insistent in his inspection of my….hmmmm, how to phrase this….business. I am a patient pug, up to a point, but once that point is crossed then I have no choice but to respond. With the speed and ferocity of a jungle cat, I hurled my body onto his, clinging to his fur with tenacity. I uttered the most primal, barbaric growls I could muster, while hanging on to the flanks of this beast-dog.

For some reason the humans found this entire exchange hysterically funny. I suspect they were shocked and horrified by my strength and lightening response. Fearing for the poor St.Bernard’s safety, Grandma and Grandpa pulled me off of his body and held me until I regained control of my emotions. If you can believe it, that fool dog was ready to come back and continue his invasive exploration! Lizzie, all the while, stood there trembling with fear and worry. She is an idiot and of no concern to me, but I mention her so that you can fully appreciate the gravity of this situation.

I think there is a lesson here for everyone: sometimes small packages carry gigantic surprises. My dignity is intact, a large dog has been taught a lesson, and I’m still master of my domain!

Respectfully submitted,

Mason

Look at me after successfully defending my honor. I am truly not a pug with whom to trifle.

Look at me after successfully defending my honor. I am truly not a pug with whom to trifle.

Look at that nincompoop, Lizzie, as she searches for signs of harm to my body. Unfortunately, we don't have a photo of the actual confrontation.

Look at that nincompoop, Lizzie, as she searches for signs of harm to my body. Unfortunately, we don't have a photo of the actual confrontation.

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