When Helios’ golden chariot soared across the heavens yesterday morning, I for one, did not take its appearance lightly. Oh no, not this soggy, squishy, damp pug! We all had great reason for jubilation and celebration. Those of us living in the northeast truly appreciate the warmth and drying benefits of the sun. We wait nine months for this time of year, and so far, we’ve been cheated.
It was with gay abandon that I headed to the yard, hopeful that the healing and drying powers of Old Sol would work its magic as I lay in the grass, having a chew on my bully stick. But lo and behold, the grass was sopping wet and uninviting. Foiled again by Mother Nature, I abandoned my plan and headed back inside to masticate and savor this treat. But you know what? It just doesn’t have the same cache indoors. It is a manly stick, designed for consumption in the great outdoors…an al fresco treat, if you will.
Wouldn’t you know it, though, that simpleton Lizzie just gnawed and chewed away at hers, blissfully unaware of how flat its flavor is when consumed on a rug indoors. I was quite frankly disgusted by her behavior, and against my natural instinct, turned away from its enticing aroma and appearance. After she finished hers she then went for mine. She is a twit and I didn’t even have interest in wresting it away from her pitiful little excuse of a mouth. She rolled her goofy eyes back in ecstasy and drooled like an idiot while I held myself apart from this wanton display.
Yes, the weather is here finally, but I will wait until all conditions are perfect before I indulge in my favorite activity.
This clearly shows the intense level of our boredom after so many weeks of rain. I apologize for its inclusion but without proof you might not grasp the severity of our plight...sunnier photos to follow!
Sometimes there is no avoiding a line from Shakespeare and this week’s weather brought Macbeth to mind. Now I realize that there will always be days so awful that no self-respecting pug wants to venture out of the warmth and comfort of his home, but since we are dogs we must. I do not like getting my paws wet, hate tramping through slush and mud puddles but Wednesday was ridiculous in Manhattan! I, however, did what I was supposed to do and did it quickly. In this kind of weather, I always wait until we are almost home, then stop, drop, and deposit. My entire toileting takes fifteen seconds tops under such conditions.
Lizzie, on the other hand, is so fussy and delicate she just minces and hops around on the street, avoiding puddles and raindrops, sticking to the innermost part of the sidewalk under the awnings. And, at the end of the walk she has done nothing! Sometimes I just want to bite her because I know what inevitably follows…that’s right, dear reader, she relieves herself on the blanket in the apartment. Disgusting! and I have to share that space with “it” until mom and dad come home. Yes, I’m venting again but there is really no excuse for such silly girlish behavior. And no, I will not wear those ridiculous rubber boots mom got me because she thinks they look so cute.
Until next time…
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I chose this photo because I look so appealing. I didn't include Lizzie because...well, that is obvious.